


The Dusk before the Dawn

by Martin Iceworth (Iceworth)



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Death, Tragedy, first era, planes of oblivion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-04
Updated: 2012-06-04
Packaged: 2017-11-06 19:24:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/422331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iceworth/pseuds/Martin%20Iceworth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The end of Nerevar's life was only the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dusk before the Dawn

The pain stopped.

No more crippling rashes burned their way through his skin. No foul gas choked his throat. Whatever tightness had raked his insides had vanished, too.

But there was no more Lexi, cradling him to her chest and holding back sobs. No more Vivec, watching him with a strange expression as Nerevar had stepped into the cavern. No more Sil, crossing his arms and refusing to look at Nerevar in his sulk.

They'd said Azura couldn't be trusted. That daedra could not be trusted, that maybe it wasn't right to listen to a Daedric Prince after all, that the prophet Veloth could have been wrong...

_What have I done to displease Her, that She would strike me down like this?_

He stood in the Grazelands at midnight. The two moons that hung above outshone the stars, casting an eerie light on the grass that came up to his thighs. He still wore the ceremonial robes he'd used to invoke Azura, but they no longer itched and burned his skin. 

Far away, he saw the dark silhouettes of huts. He made out flickers of orange light, smelled faint smoke. He heard singing and laughter from far away.

"So this is what death is like."

He whirled around at the sound of his wife’s voice. She stood before him and wore a dress made of moonlight. Twin trails of tears glinted at him, running down her cheeks past her chin. Her eyes looked swollen, her smile unhappy, but she was still the most beautiful woman Nerevar had ever met.

"Lexi," he murmured. "Did you die too?"

She shook her head. "I'm not real, Nerevar."

"Of course you're real. You're speaking to me."

"You are so..." she shook her head, and gazed to him with that expression he’d last seen on Vivec’s face. A grim one, oddly haunted, as if there was something beneath the surface she refused to let show. “So idealistic. I… Nere, I miss you so much already, I was so angry, forgive me…”

"Lexi?" He stepped closer to her in the grass. He opened his arms. "Lexi, I'm here, it's alright."

"No." She choked on a sob, raising her hand to cover her face as her shoulders hunched. "You're not, and it's not."

In front of his eyes, she faded from sight, leaving his chest hollow and his heart empty.

"Lexi?" he spoke to the darkness.

"It's okay," said Vivec's voice. "I'll take care of her."

Nerevar turned again and there was Vivec, with his silver hair made to look brilliant by the moons, spilling thick past his shoulders. Everyone made fun of Vivec's hair. It was the long locks of a poet, not of a warrior. "I promise I will,” said Vivec. He had that sadness about him, but also determination, his shoulders pushed back and his smile bittersweet in false bravado. He’d always tried so hard not to feel emotion, hidden it behind the mask of a playful fool, and yet he felt it more keenly than anyone else. He was a being of many layers, and Nerevar had always wondered where they stopped. “She has me and Sil, still.” 

Lexi had never needed taking care of, before. She'd been furious at Nerevar after Voryn's death, not in need of comfort...

"I know," said Nerevar. "Do that. Please. She'll... she'll be alright, but she's not, right now, isn't she? But take care of yourself too, Vi. You tend to ignore yourself too much in favour for others..."

"But now I need to," said Vivec, and the smile cracked. "More than ever, or I think I… might break. Nere, I..."

And he, too, faded.

Vivec. The oddball Vivec, who'd always been the glue who'd bound the five of them together. It was only after Voryn died that some hardness seemed to come over him. When Lexi and Nerevar had argued, in their quiet, broken tones, Vivec had done nothing. Usually he'd have soothed them, mediated, smoothed over ruffled feathers, but that time he'd sat there, staring into space, unmoving as angry whispers washed over him.

"You know…” Sil stood where Lexi had been, his long honey-coloured hair pulled back from his face, his arms crossed and a small frown on his face. "I don't think I realised how much I enjoyed your company until you were gone, Nerevar. You were always a bit silly, though. Almost as silly as Vivec.”

 But in spite of the frown, Nerevar saw the rigidity in his posture. Sil never wept, not after what happened to House Sotha. He got quieter, got angrier, and usually Vivec and Lexi were the only people who could pull him out of it. Nerevar and Voryn tended to make those moods worse.

"I'm not angry at you," said Nerevar.

"You should be." Sil’s eyes softened as he looked up at Nerevar. Colourless. Grey. "I barely talked to you. What kind of friend was I?”

"You're a loner by nature,” said Nerevar. "You don't like to be overwhelmed. You need your space.”

Sil lips curled in the faintest smile. "That's what I thought at the time, but if I knew..."

"I know," said Nerevar. "Don't we all?"

"Yes." Sil’s voice sounded strange. He pressed a hand to his mouth and only then did Nerevar see the tears brimming in his eyes. "Gods, Nerevar, I'd rather never be alone again if it meant you were back here, with us, like you should be..."

Sil didn't disappear. Instead he dispersed, like mist, as a sword came through him.

"Well," said Voryn Dagoth, twirling the sword in his hand. "I'm glad _someone_ misses you."

He stood there naked from the waist up. Voryn’s inclination towards wearing as few clothes as possible often led Vivec to mimic him and mock him relentlessly, but this time Nerevar found no humour in it. Voryn’s face was twisted in hate, so out of place for the soft, gentle Grazelands...

"Voryn." Nerevar's vision distorted and blurred. Something hot trickled down his cheek. "Oh, Voryn, I am _so_ sorry..."

"Didn't seem sorry when you stabbed me," said Voryn. His voice rose to an angry shout. "What the hell were you _thinking_ , Nerevar? What the hell were _they_ thinking, just letting you?!"

"You turned on us, you hurt — "

"Is that your excuse?" The singing had stopped on the other end of the field, now, and something about the air seemed redder instead of the blue and green it had been once before. Nerevar stepped back. He smelled ash. “You told me to guard the Tools and you come in and let _them_ touch them?"

"You tried to _kill_ me — "

"No, Nere," said Voryn, seizing Nerevar’s shoulder, his face looming close. His dark eyes narrowed. “I spent all that time in the company of the Tools' corruption, I felt it singing to me, and you know what I also felt? I felt it touch _them_. You should have seen the looks in their eyes, it looked like concern and worry to you but I know what it truly was! Didn't you _realise_ , you fool? How could you protect them? You told me what I had to do and I did it and you _killed me_ for it!"

"Voryn." Nerevar’s voice broke. "Voryn, please, I'm so — "

“Yes.” Voryn pulled back his sword, the end aimed at Nerevar. “You should be.”

Nerevar flinched and screwed his eyes shut.

A long minute passed.

He opened his eyes again. The touch on his shoulder had faded away. Voryn was gone. The Tribunal were still absent. He was alone in the field, and the moons had disappeared, leaving him in darkness. Th orange lights of camp were dead, and the only glow came from the feeble struggles of the stars above as the blackness tried to swallow them.

In the darkness, he thought he saw a cave in the hills that hadn't been there before.

It wasn't Voryn's fault. Nerevar rubbed his eyes with his sleeve and picked his way through the long grass towards the cave. Those Tools had gotten to him, he should never have been left in the chamber with Lorkhan's Heart...

 _Never_.

The cave was pitch black, but Nerevar felt no fear as he stepped through. He heard nothing but his own footsteps, felt nothing but a smooth floor beneath his feet.

Would they be on the other side?

Whether he walked for minutes or hours was difficult to tell by the time he emerged through the other side of the tunnel. He stood on a large hill that watched over a massive, shining island just as Red Mountain had overlooked Vvardenfell. But he wasn’t on Red Mountain, and this wasn’t Vvardenfell. From the light, it appeared to be sunrise…

... Or was it sunset?

Which way was east, which was west? He saw no sun. The horizon as it circled the island seemed to be set on fire, as if the sun came from everywhere at once, in some frozen dawn or dusk that would never change. In spite of the light the island shone a brilliant blue which hurt to look at. Far away, he saw a city made of silver which seared his eyes like a mirror in a midday sun. He rose an arm to shield them.

“This…” A blue-robed woman stood by the cave Nerevar had just stepped out of. “… is Moonshadow, Lord Indoril.”

He sunk to one knee, bowed his head. “Lady Azura.”

"Rise," said Azura, and Nerevar obeyed. "I am surprised, Nerevar, although not disappointed to see you did not spend much time in the Field of Illusions."

Field of...? "So it wasn't real."

Why did that feel like his heart had broken all over again?

“It always announces as such upon one’s arrival, and yet some may dwell there for years before they move on.” Her smile was sad. "We only see what we expect to see in the Field of Illusions. How many times have you told Sotha Sil to appreciate others more? How many times have you seen Vivec push his emotions aside to attend to others? How many times have you seen Almalexia ignore her grief, only for one key event to have her break?"

"What of Voryn?" said Nerevar. "That wasn't him, either?"

"You expected him to be angry at you," said Azura. "You expected him to have good reason to turn on you, to not have been truly corrupted by the Heart and Tools as the Tribunal had told you, that you must have made a mistake…” She shook Her head. "It was not him."

"Where is he?" said Nerevar. Then, "Where am _I_?”

"Most souls go to Aetherius when they pass on," said Azura. "Onto the Dreamsleeve, where they are cleansed and brought, as new souls, into new bodies. But souls that belong to the daedra do not have this fate. You belong to Me, Nerevar." She said this with kindness, more like a doting mother than a Daedric Prince. "And so I intervened and brought you here. All the Aetherians — the dead members of Oblivion, as you are now — pass through the Field of Illusions first, to help them come to terms with their death. I had thought you would be quite some time, facing your demons, but I have come to realise after watching that... perhaps you are not aware of what has transpired.”

She rose a hand in a gesture. “Come.”

The cave wasn't pitch dark anymore. It was a simple stone hallway on the inside. Azura's silken blue robes swished around Her legs as She walked, and Nerevar followed. He'd only ever seen Her in visions and in rituals before. Walking beside Her felt surreal.

Then again, being dead was a surreal experience.

She led him through the corridor and back into the Field of Illusions, but this time the illusion was a massive cavern with a brilliant blue pool in the middle. "This is the window to Nirn," said Azura. "I use it whenever My more esteemed servants require it. It can see into the past, the present, and probable futures, although the future is never set in stone. Much like a braid of hair, the future divides into several paths until it is woven by the present.” She gazed down at the surface of the water as She rounded its edge. “I did not strike you down, Lord Nerevar, you have done little to displease Me. You were betrayed.”

“Betrayed?” Nerevar stepped closer to the pool. For now, he saw nothing in it. “By whom?”

"The Tribunal.” Azura stopped at the opposite side.

“Lady Azura…” He looked up at Her face, where the pool’s veins of cyan light danced on Her skin. “Pardon me when I say I… that cannot be right.”

"You are pardoned," said Azura. "Although I suffer no fools gladly, I understand innocence when I see it. I know trust, and pain, too."

"Naïve, maybe," said Nerevar, looking back into the pool. "But I'm a few hundred years too old to be innocent."

"Trust makes us innocent," said Azura. "And the Tribunal are guilty indeed."

He'd never argued with Azura before, so he kept his tone from sounding reproachful as he said, "But... I’ve known them for centuries, Lady Azura, they _couldn’t_ …”

But when he looked back up at Azura, rather than seeing the anger he expected, he saw only sorrow. Slowly, She shook Her head.

"Watch," She said.

The surface of the pool shimmered and changed.

He watched.

The Tribunal sat in a large tent. Nerevar recognised it; he'd had that fight with Almalexia there, with Vivec on the edge of a chair lost in pain. Nerevar had stormed out after that argument, too upset to confront Almalexia's words and the truth of Voryn's betrayal. 

This time, Sotha Sil was there. He held books under his arms. “I have been thinking of the Tools,” he said. “I do believe I — “

“Is now truly the time?” Vivec was in the same chair he’d been in when Nerevar and Almalexia had argued, perched on the edge as if unwilling to take what little comfort cold wood could give him. “You saw what they did to Voryn. A man has _died_ , Sil, and a good one. Allow us a moment to _grieve!_ ”

“I believe that only improper use of the Tools has the side effect of corruption,” Sotha Sil went on, as if Vivec hadn’t spoken. Vivec pinched the bridge of his nose between a finger and a thumb. Nerevar saw his other hand clenched in a shaking fist. “Voryn was deathly loyal to Nerevar. It would be foolish to suddenly change one’s mind and abandon the Tools _now_. We cannot allow Voryn to die in vain.”

"He's _dead_ , Sil!” Nerevar had never heard Vivec shout before, and he flinched at the sound, too aware of how little sound a tent's canvas disguised. But then, that command tent was probably far away enough from the others that nobody had heard Vivec. Nerevar hadn’t; he must have been far away already, lost in his own grief and guilt. “Perhaps you could _pretend_ you have sympathy?”

"I do sympathise," said Sil. "I — "

“At least give us a day or two to process this!”

"Vivec," said Almalexia’s quiet voice, and Vivec softened. She sat on the table in the centre of the tent, on top of the map of Vvardenfell. That thing had always been inaccurate, but it was the best one they'd had. Her legs were crossed at the knees, her armour off, clad in thin robes. "It's alright, Vivec. Everyone mourns in their own way. Sil has always mourned by distracting himself."

Vivec rubbed his temple with two fingers. “And you mourn with anger, I see.” But his voice was gentle, and as he glanced at Almalexia his own anger seemed to have faded somewhat.

“Nerevar is a Hortator, but one more prone to sentimentality and weeping than strength,” said Almalexia, her voice still soft and sympathetic. She hadn't spoken to _Nerevar_ like that during their fight. "I was reminding him of that. He cannot afford to... he can't grieve now, Vivec. We all have a duty to our people. We must decide what must be done with the Heart, and soon. Voryn’s betrayal… changes things.” Almalexia frowned. “Nerevar has decided that perhaps the Tools should be destroyed after all, and I am wondering if, perhaps, he is not wrong.”

“We must not change our minds now,” said Sil. “He will come back around. He has only wanted to do what is best for the Chimer people.”

“Excellent,” said Vivec. “So, who do you think will turn evil first? How many of my _other_ friends will I have to watch die before _I_ am corrupted? Or, perhaps Nerevar will turn evil first and this time it will be _me_ holding the blade.”

“Vivec.” Sil adjusted the books under his arms. “I don’t believe it will come to that. I’ve studied the Heart and the Tools, and I believe the Heart's powers can be utilised.”

“So did Kagrenac,” said Vivec flatly. “We should ask him about it as soon as we _find_ him!”

“ _Properly_ ,” said Sil. “Kagrenac rushed the ritual and did it incorrectly, leading to those… interesting consequences… but I believe I’ve figured out how we can use them ourselves. In fact, I am quite certain of it.”

Silence.

“Use them?” Almalexia said, "To become gods as Kagrenac intended?”

“Indeed,” said Sil. “We have spent so many years either fighting Nords, fighting Dwemer, or preserving a fragile peace. It is time that ended. Once and for all.”

“I, for one, am tired of war.” Vivec sat back in the chair at last, his arms crossed. “But for all Nerevar wants to do what is best, he is… idealistic. ‘Absolute power corrupts absolutely,’ as he said. He will not trust himself to do it. He would not even trust _us_ to do it.”

“But we would never lose another war,” said Sil. “We would not have to worry about the Nords, the Falmer, the Dwemer…”

“There are no Dwemer _left_ to worry about,” said Almalexia, gazing down at her hands.

“We have no guarantees that they are gone for good,” said Sil. “Our power would be limitless.”

“That does not sound evil at all,” Vivec deadpanned.

"No, Vivec." To Nerevar's surprise, Sil didn't lose his patience. "Don't you understand what _else_ we could do?"

"Gods know what comes after death," Almalexia murmured.

"We could bring Voryn back,” said Sil.

Vivec straightened, his eyes fixed on Sil. "What?"

"Gods can do anything," said Sil. "This kind of thing would turn things around for us. We could bring Voryn back. As he was, before the Tools touched him. His death has hurt us all so dearly..."

"They suggested this to me," said Nerevar, in the cave with Azura. "I know this conversation took place. And I said — “

"No." Vivec shook his head. "Nerevar would be too afraid he'd bring Voryn back wrong, somehow, and those Tools... you saw what they did to Voryn. He wouldn't have any of it."

"Godhood does not work that way," Azura murmured, in front of Nerevar. "Not even I can bring back the dead. I can only take souls to my realm, nothing more. In order for Voryn to return to Nirn, he would have had to be reborn."

"Where is he?" said Nerevar.

"There is more," said Azura.

"Not even for the good of Resdayn?" said Almalexia. Then she sighed and shook his head. "No, probably not, this _is_ Nere we are talking about…”

Silence. Vivec stared at his knees in thought. Almalexia picked at her nails. Sil looked at Vivec, as if waiting for him to do something.

Vivec didn’t seem to notice, but rather glanced at Almalexia with concern in his eyes.

He often looked at Almalexia like that. The two of them were good friends, and it had always pleased Nerevar that Almalexia had friends to depend on. But seeing the way Sil’s lips twitched in a knowing expression as he looked at Vivec…

Suddenly, Nerevar felt uncomfortable.

Almalexia sighed, and said, “Do not misunderstand me, I love my husband…”

“His heart is in the right place,” said Vivec, which eased Nerevar’s discomfort, until he saw Sil’s smirk grow. “He is a good person.”

“But that is the problem,” said Almalexia. “He is _too_ good. He has never believed that the ends justify the means, but if we go about only pure means we will still get rotten ends. He doesn’t understand that there’s a _balance_ , that sometimes you have to be underhanded to get the best conclusion. Rushing off to confront Dumac so soon was… not the best decision. Yes, confronting him was a good idea in theory, because friends do not keep secrets, but we should have hidden it from Dumac and collected our evidence before we went to him. And that’s if it’s even true that Dumac was oblivious. For what good _that_ did, in the end, he still forced Nerevar to kill him!”

“It seems he does not always listen to you,” said Vivec.

Nerevar frowned. Almalexia sighed.

Sil looked smug when he said, “Which is the problem. He did not listen to us before, and he paid the consequences. We _all_ paid the consequences, the Dwemer included. He will remember this and listen to us again, surely…?”

“Not after what happened to Voryn,” said Vivec. “He would not want to use the Tools. Even for the highest good of Resdayn, he would refuse to use them because of Voryn, and we would pay for it. Again. He’s already had to kill two friends, how many more people have to die? But, the question is, does he have to find out?”

“He would,” said Almalexia.

"But if we could bring back Voryn properly and _show_ him — " said Vivec, then said, "No, what if he's right and we _do_ mess it up? We don’t know how to be gods.”

"But Sil is right," Almalexia murmured. "Imagine what we could do with the Tools... we could train ourselves, practice, before we could try such a task. We'd never lose another war, and we'd finally be free. Permanently. Nobody would touch our people while we were at their head."

"And Nerevar would be a fool to refuse that," said Sil.

"Maybe." Vivec sat back. "Maybe." Then, "I can see why you distract yourself, Sil. It... helps, not to think about it. To think about something else instead. But you do know Azura would… _not_ be amused?”

"Then I should wonder if she truly has our best interests at heart," said Sil. “She failed to mention Dumac’s ignorance to Kagrenac’s intentions, after all.”

“Damn it, Sil,” said Nerevar, in the cave. “Daedra are powerful, not infinitely so!”

“Lady Indoril,” said Vivec delicately. “I — “

“Stop it,” said Almalexia flatly.

Vivec blinked. “… Pardon?”

“You only call me ‘Lady Indoril’ when you’re about to suggest something I don’t want to hear. Just come out with it.”

“I was not going to make any suggestion.” Vivec leaned back in his chair. “Only make the observation that… after the way events have unfolded, with Nerevar forced to kill two of his closest friends, if he will be… in the right position to continue to lead.”

“And what do you mean by _that_?” Almalexia’s voice was like ice.

Vivec glanced at Sil, who came to his rescue. “Nerevar has, if I may be blunt, always been an emotional man ruled by his heart and not by his head,” said Sil. “He is not the kind of man who can put aside his grief. How can we expect him to listen to us regarding the Tools when he’s like this, when he wouldn’t even listen when he _wasn’t_?”

“He wouldn’t even listen to _you_ when you pointed out what Kagrenac was doing,” said Vivec. “He doesn’t listen to _anyone_. I only mean to point out, do you _truly_ think he will take on our advice anymore?”

“What can we do?” Almalexia snorted. “You are correct, but he would not step aside.”

“Yes, it seems he clings to power, doesn’t it?”

“Not at all.” Almalexia glared at Vivec, who met her gaze without flinching. “Nerevar would continue suffering through politics because it’s his _duty_ to, not out of any hunger for power!”

“Not at all,” said Vivec. “Forgive me, that was poorly worded. I only find it… strange… that he would not trust even _you_.”

The remark hit home. Nerevar, blinking, watched as Almalexia stared at Vivec in stunned silence before she looked away.

“Now, _this_ ,” said Sil. “Is what I am worrying about. Azura fails to tell Nerevar about Dumac’s ignorance, and a war ensues. Nerevar also refuses to listen to those he most trusts. Now, another observation… does anyone else find it a little strange that out of the Three Good Daedra, only _one_ deigns to speak to us? I should wonder if the other two aren’t doing something behind the scenes. Isn’t one of these ‘good’ Daedra, Mephala, especially known for seeding paranoia?”

“And it does not occur to him,” said Azura, in the cavern, Her voice given a slight echo by the cave walls, “that Mephala was doing just that to Dumac? So that he would come to suspect Kagrenac, and believe you when you came to him? Only, she failed, and it backfired on _you_ , Nerevar. For even we cannot interfere in free will.”

“You think that the Daedric Princes have tainted Nerevar?” said Almalexia.

“They would take advantage of his idealism,” said Sil. “Of his dedication to them. They would turn him against us. They have power over him, and they would not want us to usurp that.”

Did they _truly_ believe that, Nerevar thought? He gazed at the faces in the tent, but not a single one looked unconvinced. Sil was frowning as he spoke. Vivec looked stunned. 

Almalexia gazed into space with a blank look of horror. “It must be true,” she said. “It _must_ be. He is not paranoid by nature, he has always put such stock in friendships, why else would he have refused to listen to us, his closest friends? He didn’t even listen to _Voryn_ …”

“Because I trusted Dumac,” said Nerevar. “And I was right, we found out he had had no idea! But… it was too late by then.” Too late to stop the war that had ensued. Too late to mend the broken bridge between him and Dumac.

“What can we do?” said Almalexia. “They will know we have found out.”

“They’ll know what we’re planning,” said Vivec darkly.

“And how low do you think they will stoop to stop it?” said Sil. “Fortunately, they cannot be here in the flesh with us to strike us down as we speak. But they _will_ use him against us, just as the Tools turned Voryn on us. And then we _will_ have to kill another friend.”

“How do you purify Daedric influence?” said Almalexia. “If we were gods, we could…”

“But how do we become gods without him finding out?” said Vivec. “If the Daedra are manipulating him, they _will_ find a way to manipulate him into finding out before we can do anything.”

A long silence. Nerevar's heart twisted. He wasn't sure why. This wasn't a normal silence, it was the calm before a storm, the sound of venom being put on a blade...

“Resdayn and Nerevar,” said Sil. He moved to sit on the table beside Almalexia, blocking her from Vivec’s view. “Could we save both?”

Almalexia didn’t look at him.

Sil looked at Vivec. “If we were able to save Nerevar, would the Tools be out of our grasp by then? If we were able to save Resdayn by making ourselves gods, would Nerevar throw himself in our way?”

“He would.” Almalexia’s voice was a faint echo. “He would sooner _die_ that compromise what he thinks are his values.”

Vivec rose from his chair and moved to sit on Almalexia’s other side. The table creaked under their combined weight. “Is he going to die?”

“I wonder what would happen,” said Sil, “if the Daedric Princes got a hold of those Tools.”

Vivec and Almalexia froze.

Almalexia said, “Gods, no, we can’t let that happen. Not if they’re as you suggest…”

Sil leaned back to give Vivec a look. Vivec frowned. Sil raised his eyebrows, shrugged, and sat back upright.

Vivec looked at Almalexia’s torn expression. He said, carefully, “Do we truly want him to die like that?”

“You saw Voryn,” said Almalexia. “I can’t break Nerevar like that. I _can’t_. The Daedra would, but I couldn’t. Never.”

“You have to choose, Almalexia,” said Sil. “Resdayn or Nerevar? Because sooner or later, he _will_ fight us.”

Slowly, Almalexia shook her head.

It was then that Vivec exchanged looks with Sil. Sil nodded, slowly.

Vivec touched Almalexia’s shoulder. “Perhaps… I have an idea. One that will ensure that event does not come to pass.”

The image changed. 

Nerevar saw Sotha Sil in his tent, bent over the robes Nerevar wore when he died, weaving magic into the cloth. 

In another tent, Almalexia held candles in her long fingers, murmuring a spell.

In the open, during a dusty day underneath Red Mountain, Nerevar leaned against a tree as Vivec approached. Vivec said, "Have you tried a different spell to invoke Azura? I was thinking, perhaps this could make it clearer..."

But also, Sotha Sil folding the robes, his hands red with a rash, closing his eyes and bowing his head.

Almalexia shoving the candles aside, and taking a deep breath to steady herself.

Vivec touching Nerevar's arm, with, "Are you so sure we can trust the Daedra? I realise this is blasphemy, but what if Veloth was wrong? What if they _can’t_ be trusted?”

“Voryn knew the Tools should be destroyed," said Nerevar, in the pool. "And I should have listened to him. If I'd listened, Vi, he’d still be alive... Azura will know best, She must be allowed Her opinion."

The images in the pool faded, leaving Nerevar staring into the water’s blue light.

"And they killed me," said Nerevar. "They just... killed me."

"And afterwards, they taunted me," said Azura. "At first I questioned whether they were truly so heartless in your death, but then... as Almalexia stated, people mourn in different ways. No doubt, they deal with guilt in different ways. And what better way to deal with guilt than pretend it was what they wanted all along? Oh, mark my words, Nerevar... this will eat at them. Even though it doesn't seem obvious, it will eat at them, and they will deal with it in different ways." Azura waved a hand over the pool, which came to life once again.

Almalexia, in the tent in the bright of day, with the hilt of the broken Trueflame across her knees. Her skin was a dull gold in the light. The warrior stared into space, her eyes blank, as she fingered the filigree on the cross-guard.

Sotha Sil, in the woods with the dappled sunlight cast over him, a book open in his lap. His skin was a sullen grey, his eyes red like blood. The wizard stared at the page without seeing the words, his fingers clasped together.

Vivec, on a boulder with the sounds of nature around him, a dagger in one hand. His skin was grey and gold, split down his middle. The poet clenched his other fist around silver locks, the hair on his head jagged and messy.

"I almost feel sorry for them," Nerevar murmured.

"I don't," said Azura. "What they have done will have disastrous consequences for Resdayn. Mortals were never supposed to become gods, and they will anger the other Daedric Princes, who are not as kind as I am, Nerevar. I have seen visions of a future — the future they wanted, no doubt, but one which ultimately led to the ruin and shattering of their society.”

"So there's still time, isn't there? To fix it?" said Nerevar.

... But how?

"There may not be," said Azura. "I have made them a promise, Nerevar, and it is up for you to fulfil. You will be reborn, and you will set it right. You will destroy the Heart of Lorkhan, and you will render them mortal again... but that is not all. You will still have the Tribunal's mess to clean up.” She waved a hand, and the vision of Vivec and his ruined hair faded from the pool. “I have attempted to scry the future and likely outcomes. If the most logical ones are correct, you will not do this for thousands of years, and by then it will be too late. From there, you will have to help the survivors of the Red Year, find the Dwemer, and retake Resdayn from its enemies as Hortator once again. The Tribunal's actions have far-reaching consequences and it will be a long, long time before it is all set right."

"Thousands of years?" said Nerevar. "But surely I'd only have to be reborn once...?"

Azura shook Her head. "My magic does not work that way," She said. "Although I can avoid having your soul stripped of its memories like the Dreamsleeve does, when you are reborn you will remember nothing because you will have a new mind. You will be born with no idea of what you are supposed to do. There will be many false starts. Many lifetimes in which you have no idea what to do. Many lifetimes in which you _know_ what you have to do, but still balk. Many lifetimes in which you try, but fail. And only one lifetime in which you will succeed. The only times you will remember everything, the only times you will truly be yourself, are the times in between when you die again. We must make preparations. We must alert the world to your approaching return. Already I have sent visions to many Ashlander wise women to come to Oblivion and listen to My prophecy..." Azura smiled softly. "For now, we wait to see who answers the call. These prophecies and visions, if they should find your living selves, will guide you.”

“I… see.” It was something, at least. The beginning of a long journey, but one, he hoped, that would have an end.

 _Oh, Lexi,_ he thought, _you think I am the one who has idealistic intentions…_

“I must prepare,” said Azura. “Leave me, for now, and explore Moonshadow. I will find you later."

Nerevar obeyed.

He stepped from the cave into the paradoxically bright dimness of Moonshadow. The light gave the world a blue hue, and stung his eyes. But, if he were to spend thousands of years here, perhaps he would grow used to it…

“Perhaps Voryn is here,” he murmured. “Perhaps I can make _that_ right, at least…”

 

-O-

 

In the cavern, when Nerevar was gone, Azura shook Herself. Her hair lengthened and crept down her back, glossy and black. Her blue robes shimmered and transformed into ebony lace and webbing which covered Her from neck to ankle. Spiders crawled along Her skin.

The Daedric Prince waved Her hand over the pool for a final time. An image appeared; this time, of Azura as She had been moments before. “Thank you,” said the ‘Azura’ in the cave, “for allowing me to speak to him first. He’ll find a portal in the woods, and then he will find Moonshadow for real, and then the little Hortator is all yours.”

“Mephala.” Azura frowned at Her from within the pool. “You showed Nerevar a lot of lies today, I see.”

“They weren’t _all_ lies. Just a lot of them,” said Mephala. “Vivec, for instance, is not as pathetic as Nerevar seems to think he is, but _does_ still want to sleep with his wife. Rather, ex-wife. ‘Until death do us part’ and all that.”

“Still, perhaps you care more than you say.”

Mephala shrugged. “It was the only version of events he would believe. If I had told him of the real malice of the Tribunal? He would not have believed it. He will always have blind faith in those he knows, whether they are ally, friend or wife. Cute. Give him a few lifetimes to see them for what they truly are, let them hunt him down and kill him over and over, and then you can tell him the truth and have him believe.”

“He has had enough shock for a mortal to process as it is,” said Azura.

Mephala gestured at Her surroundings. The Field of Illusions shifted, twisting into a dungeon with torches in brackets, weapon racks lining the walls, a few swords here, a few daggers there…

And lots of spiders, of course. “Goodbye, sister,” said Mephala. “I shall leave you to your preparation and return to my own. I wonder how quickly I can drive Almalexia insane before she notices. With her newfound power she’ll be able to fight it off, but perhaps if I’m subtle enough…”

But as the pool began to fade from the ground, Mephala caught Azura’s worried frown, and softened.

“Fear not, Sister,” said Mephala, as the light faded to leave Her in darkness. “The Hortator will understand. One day.”


End file.
